


Substance Abuse

by impulsecontrol



Category: No Fandom
Genre: ;), Fucked Up Power Dynamics, Hypothetical, Illegal Activities, M/M, Poetry, Teacher Crush, Teacher-Student Relationship, obviously, poem, that's my shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-09
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-02-12 18:43:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12965964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impulsecontrol/pseuds/impulsecontrol
Summary: ((romantic fatigue))





	Substance Abuse

**Author's Note:**

> _((romantic fatigue))_

I've never been drunk  
But you have.  
You tell me of wonders I've yet to experience:  
Being drunk, you say, it's like us, you say.  
The thrill of doing wrong;  
The heart racing,  
palms sweating,  
morals declining love.  
The triumphant secrecy,  
scintillating escapade,  
complex hijack of wrong-wrung rules.  
You may think like this but you don't say like this; you speak in electromagnetic waves.  
And you may think what I feel  
but that's not what I feel; there's nothing I've done wrong. I'm just loving.  
Carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon,  
This is chemistry.  
See eight, hide five.  
hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen,  
Eleven aches for eleven hours:  
(We don't finish work at the same time).  
Time — lines stretch, clocks shrink: when we're apart  
Needs much more force to make the seconds pass quicker.  
Anxious not thrilling intensity; waiting in a doctor's room purgatory — do they know our sins; are we holy to pass?  
Do they know do they know do they know do they know  
it's okay — we're together with the webcams patched up  
with our receding vision and ragged heartbeats:  
This is no way to breathe.

nitrogen, oxygen, oxygen.  
Necessities, omnipresently, undress cities.  
You could have said no. You should have said no. You must have--  
Duty, my dear. Apparently  
unimportant. unpropitious. unprincipled.  
Instead, you said,  
Let's make this moment a crime.  
You have no right, no rhyme, no flow.  
I took your right but you gave it to me,  
fists clutched, eyes closed, legs open.  
Took mine, too. It's time  
the tale were told.  
Carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon, carbon,  
Necessities, unpresently, oppress cities.  
You didn't teach me that; I know it.  
I _know_.  
It's not science, simply how things are;  
My speciality; not yours. I like to think I have one.  
You like to think I don't. I'm an open book, but my love, I own words.  
It's the only thing I do  
I'm the only thing you do;  
the only person, too.  
The sense of control in a life out of orbit,  
god do I love it!  
Do I love you?  
hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen, hydrogen,  
Necessities obsess me  
_Own me._  
Take me, extract me, question my purities,  
for to silicon, I do not confess.

nitrogen, nitrogen, oxygen.  
The air's right there; it's tangible;  
I can hold it, I can see it, I can feel it, oh lord can I feel it,  
but through all of this, I cannot breathe it.  
Oh, Lord — can I feel it?  
I need it,  
these chemicals,  
unholy:  
You tell me I'm wrong;  
They tell me we're wrong, but  
I need these chemicals promised  
by words unheard.  
These chemicals — they're harmless alone  
but when together? Why, they are  
irritant:  
a distraction.  
flammable:  
a violent reaction.  
corrosive:  
endless, relentless,  
burn away till you're senseless;  
and toxic, explosive:  
a bursting organ,  
your choice of which,  
a gamble, a hazard, untameable hazard,  
collateral damage.  
(Begin the formula for love!)  
But my love, for love, this isn't Chemistry.

Strange attractors, we are. A chaotic pair.  
Sulphur, sulphur.  
I wonder how you can know what I feel.


End file.
